Dual....:-)
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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