Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
