I hope mine doesn't look like that
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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