You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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