Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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