I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
