It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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