call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
