What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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