And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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