Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
