So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
