Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
