I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
