I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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