So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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