redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
