Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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