I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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