"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize