whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
