I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
