how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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