mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We got so high we made milksteak
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
