He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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