I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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