thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
