I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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