I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
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