do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
