She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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