I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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