i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
