i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize