Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
