just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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