Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
