Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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