that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize