I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
