those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
