wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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