The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
