next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You're like the curious george of whores
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
