His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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