Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
