is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
