im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
