I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
