; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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