So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.