im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
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