I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face