so that wasnt chicken after all
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
