i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
