There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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