i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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