yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
