Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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