It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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