dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
