seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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