once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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